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If you’re a guy you’ve inevitably run into the classic rating system for women. If you’re a woman reading this, then you may not have a clue what I just said.
I’m talking about the 1 to 10 rating scale used by a lot of guys to rank women in terms of attractiveness, from 10 being God’s gift to mankind and one being …well…
I hear it all the time.
“So and so is dating an 8.”
“I was out with a nine last night.”
“This 6 blew me off, I can’t believe it!”
While I’ve ranked women in the past, my many years of experience learning about women, love, life, and myself has lead me to the conclusion that — for your own personal benefit — it’s best to abandon rankings.
Who Does Ranking Women For Attractiveness Help?
Consider the effect it has on your own long term happiness. That’s right, your own long term happiness.
A lot of guys start learning how to meet and date women because they haven’t been able to nail down the types of girls they wish they could. There’s a strong desire for recognition by, or validation from, girls they’ve always wanted to get with. Guys in general have a hunger for specific types of women, so they game up to get with those types of girls.
If a guy starts rating women, something strange starts to happen. There’s a certain amount of social proof, the quiet pressure on your own perception/judgement from the perceptions/judgements of others, that’s packed into rating women. The rating scale used by guys in general is an objective, absolute, scale — it’s not a personal or subjective measure. Your peers, or even society in general, has a large impact on what is ranked a ten and what’s not. While there’s a strong biological basis for attraction, culture shapes our perceptions and judgements to just as large of an extent. The result of this constant battering-ram of judgements from a guy’s peer group is that he starts to shift his behaviour so it conforms to group standards or norms. This can be dangerous.
The obvious reason is that this newly acquired behaviour might not fit with your authentic desires. Instead of a guy going after who he is generally attracted to he may start approaching women that other guys see as attractive. Social status rankings, and a desire to be envied, or the types of women other guys have judged as hot now being top of mind may all come into play. Whatever the reason, not going after who you are authentically attracted to will leave you less happy, less satisfied, than dating who you wanted to before you started down this path of development.
Does That Mean Shooting Low?
Now, it is true that some guys go after certain girls because they think or feel that those are the types of girls open to them. In some cases, they have always just approached the girls they thought they had a chance with and so now don’t really think about approaching anything else. “Fatty chasers” are a good example of this.
But that does not mean that a guy can’t go after who he genuinely finds attractive or desirable. When I look back at my own development I see the quality of the girls I’ve dated — both in terms of how attracted I was to them and the personalities they had — increasing year by year. I’ve really come a long way. The whole time, though, I always went after who I was attracted to. It’s just that who I have been attracted to has shifted quite dramatically. Bit by bit as I approached women year after year I would notice other girls who I was even more attracted to and then start approaching them.
Maybe there were some psychological barriers, or inner game issues, behind why I didn’t just approach those women in the first place. Still, month by month I gradually stepped up the quality of the girls that I approached. When you force yourself to develop your game and social skills, when you become a higher value guy, your own standards naturally shift as well.
But You Have To Game Hotter Girls Differently
Way back when I was first learning about game from western “pickup artists” the mantra was that how you act with a 7 differs from how you act with a 5 or a 10. 10s, specifically, required their own style of interaction. You had to be more aloof, you had to actively break rapport.
By now I’ve dated at least one model and many girls who easily could have been. My style of game has not changed from girl to girl — I’ve just approached who I’ve been attracted to and interacted with them the same way that I interact with all women I’m interested in. Where my successes have stemmed from is the comfort, confidence, and social skills I’ve built, along with a tremendous amount of internal improvement. I’m a much higher value guy now than I was when I originally started.
Ranking women and developing alternative strategies to bag the best broad you can is a distraction. I’m convinced that, in Asia, you can use your same style of game to attract and score with the incredibly attractive girls or the incredibly average girls alike. Sure, hotter girls are going to be harder but that just means that you have to be that much better at the game you develop — you don’t need a different game. A lot of that also comes down to becoming a higher value guy and upping your lifestyle, not just the social skills you use during your interactions.
Why waste your time trying to develop different tactics to use on the hottest girls when you should be developing your standard mode of interaction and improving yourself as a person? Sure, it sounds less sexy but those last two are far, far more effective.
Go After Who You Want to Go After
It’s the mark of a high value, alpha, guy to go after whatever it is he wants. A high value guy does not let perceived roadblocks stop him from achieving what he wants to achieve — whether becoming an actor (Tom Cruise), ruling over much of the known world (Genghis Khan), or dating some of the world’s best women (RedpoleQ). Going after the girls you actually, truly, find attractive instead of basing your quest on some numbers game will make your life better and help develop the character you need to reach even higher levels of success.
There is a lot more to know when it comes to dating Asian women. A lot of it comes down to vast differences in culture. If you want to make the most of your dating life in Asia then make sure to pick up my book, Meet and Date Asian Women: Foundations. It’s available on Amazon and will definitely make your dating life far smoother. Click here now and pick up a copy so you can start dating the Asian women you want!