One-itis [one-i-tus] noun.
- the fixation by a guy (usually) on one girl who he imbues with positive qualities (that she may not possess), or whose positive qualities are imbued with such value, that all negative qualities are overlooked and/or rationalized away to the point that she seems to be totally irreplaceable as a potential partner for sex, dating, a relationship, marriage, or all of the above.
- a woman who a guy has one-itis for
- (adjective) the state of having one-itis
One-itis is one of the most destructive forces known to man. Think Samson and Delilah. Think Bathsheba and King David. Think Cleopatra and Marc Antony. No matter how you look at it, the heedless chase for a particular woman has dealt a deadly blow to many men.
Most men, when in the throes of one-itis, spend more time thinking about whether they can continue to get the scraps thrown to them instead of whether their needs and desires are being met.
In fact, they are willing to sacrifice their needs and desires, if they think that living true to them could mean the loss of the girl. In short, they cannot walk away from a lose/win situation, where they themselves are losing by doing all they can to meet their woman’s wants needs and desires, while getting very little in return.
One of the biggest challenges I find is coaching my clients and in guys that I talk to over the phone or ask questions on my site is that the guys are like little remote controlled robots, or worse, voluntary slaves, trying to please the mistress. Yes, by all means pay attention to what she wants, and try to give it to her, but it shouldn’t be a one way street.
When I tell my clients to “get blown or blown out”, it means that they should set standards for what they expect from the women in their lives and to hold fast to them. The philosophy of getting blown or blown out, as crude as it may sound, prevents men from falling into the trap of hoping without risking. Instead of just settling for whatever a girl will give them, the he charges forward in an attempt to have his needs/wants/desires met—whether that means an ongoing relationship, or just sex.
Most men would rather hope that things will change with the target of their affection. They think that with patience, the girl will suddenly want to give them everything. By all means, be patient, but don’t be passive!
You must take progressive action to find out if the woman you’re with is willing to try and meet your hopes, aspirations, dreams and WILD FANTASIES.
Most guys just sit back ,thinking their playing it cool, when really they’re playing it weak. They don’t want to have their bubble burst and find out the truth—that the woman their with is either unable, or unwilling to give them what they want—so they opt to keep things pleasant.
This can be fatal. It’s better to bring the relationship to a moment of crises where a woman has to make the final call whether she wants to be part of the crew, or jump ship. In my world there are 3 kinds of women:
- family, friends and colleagues(ie I have no sexual interest or intent),
- women who are fun, that I love to spend time with and can learn a lot from who are not sexually attracted to me,
- women who are fun, that I love to spend time with and can learn a lot from me who like nothing more than jump my bones every chance they get.
There are so many of the 3rd, why bother with the 2nd? Get blown or blown OUT!