by Martin

If you’ve played poker or blackjack, then you’re at a big advantage when it comes to learning game. You’re also at a big advantage if you have sales and/or marketing experience.  Why? Because you know that to win, you have to lose.  And you know how to deal in probabilities.

When you approach a woman, there is some percentage chance she’ll reject you. The tough part is that you have no idea what that percentage chance is until you take action. The girl right in front of you could be all smiles and the most eager girl to go out on date with you of your entire life. Or you she could be a cold hearted ice queen who sneers right in your face when you point out how big her bag is, how tall her shoes are, or guess that her favorite color is pink. You don’t know if you’ll have to talk to 10 girls before one will show up for a date, or 50.

And it’s this operating in uncertainty that puts you at a deep disadvantage.  In poker the probabilities for each hand are known, so there is a “right” way to play each hand. In dating there is no way to know.  What we do know is that if you improve your skills in the right way that the averages get better.

There was a time waaaaay back when I really did think it was all luck and so I tried anything…most of which didn’t work. Most guys have all sorts of reasons why they don’t approach girls:

  • she’s probably busy
  • she probably has a boyfriend
  • she probably doesn’t speak English
  • she’s in a hurry
  • I’d probably bother her

And all of these excuses make sense. Which is why they are so easy to believe. In fact most of the time, you’ll be right! But, you need to go out there and find the exceptions, knowing that you’ll be right most of the time. So get out there talk to some girls and give yourself the chance to be wrong.