Note: This is the 2nd article in our Valentine’s Day series. Read part 1 here.
The Meaning of the Good Life
In the post on Valentine’s Day in Korea, Socrates discussed how some Korean Valentine’s Day customs originate in Japan. These customs live on in the land of the rising sun and, as he points out, this is your day to sit back and let the admiration of your girl wash over you. Chocolates, cards, and even small gifts can be yours on Valentine’s Day. I once got an entire heart shaped basket of bathing goods from the Body Shop, complete with girl in heart patterned bra and panties so cute, I actually put them back on her to snap some photos since I quickly by-passed them in my rush to get to bare skin.
But there’s danger. If you’re an English teacher, you’re likely to get gifts from many of your students. This is an opportunity for those shy girls with a secret crush to reveal themselves and try to win your heart through a bold token which hints at what they really want. If you have an office job, the same goes for any cute OLs (office ladies), or co-workers, that haven’t found the right TPO (time, place, and opportunity) to show their feelings. And, even if they are just being kind with no intentions, your girlfriend may not see it that way.
So, be careful about showing off your Valentine’s Day booty – it could blow up in your face. Your Japanese girlfriend will easily pick up on the little nuances in communication that will blindside you. Not only will she be angry at the girl for trying to move in on her territory, but she’ll be equally angry with you for not making it very, very clear, to whoever she is, that you are off limits.
Hiding behind a sheepish grin and pleading ignorance won’t help you here. Remember, she thinks of you as a player-player extraordinaire; and, a guy who pulls every girl’s heart strings at will, like you do with her. (Either that, or she picked a tame pussycat for a boyfriend.)
What About Your Other 4 Girlfriends?
If you’re dating multiple women, things get even trickier, especially if Valentine’s Day falls on Saturday or Sunday. Each girl will want to see you in person and each of them will feel that if she’s really important then you’ll spend Valentine’s Day with her.
Many girls are too busy to be able to meet you on actual Valentine’s day, or they may only be available to meet you for a short time. Other girls may feel that it’s important that you spend that night with her, so you’ll need some kind of excuse. If you know that Valentine’s day will be hectic, then it’s a great idea to plan to meet up with some of your guy friends so that you are legitimately busy.
If you do decide to spend that day with a girl be aware that you may come home to a surprise. I once came home with a girl and opened up my mailbox like I always do. Inside was a box of chocolates and a nice card from another girl I was seeing who must have taken the time to drop them by even though she knew I was busy that day. I remember hurriedly closing the mailbox with the gift still inside while trying to maintain calm, cool, nonchalant demeanor. My heart rate was fluctuating wildly as I pulsated from dread, imagining how ugly things could have been if we’d shown up and run into her while she was making the drop, and then to relief that it didn’t happen.
I had one friend who found it so stressful, that he would start a fight a few days or a week before the big day and then make up and get back together with them after! Now, I’m not recommending this “technique” but I want to make sure you know all the options out there.
However, if you have set up your life in a way that you’re always a busy guy with an erratic schedule, you’re well positioned to handle Valentine’s Day or any other holiday. The randomness of your schedule will give you more freedom, because you won’t have to break any patterns. And as Kane discussed in a previous article, it’s the patterns that give a person away.
This article may sound doom and gloom, but if you take the right precautions and set your relationships up right from the beginning, you’re in for lots of Valentine’s Day treats.