by Kane Vast
Welcome to another edition of ‘StuffFromKane’sBrain’
Today, we are here to talk about how YOU can meet GIRLS in CHINA. If you’re a gay dude, then sorry, this article probably won’t help you. You’re more than free to request a ‘where to meet dudes in China’ article and I’ll write it although I can’t promise it will be very good…
This article is gonna be split up into various parts. Firstly: Understanding Chinese girls and Chinese culture and societal values Part 1. Secondly: Understanding Chinese girls and Chinese culture and societal values Part 2. Lastly: The best way to meet and attract Chinese girls, plus how to juggle a relationship with them.
I’d like to mention one quick thing before we start, if you’ll indulge me. In China, what you see and how things actually are are almost always different. Everyone is wearing a mask. Sure, this is true about the world in general, just 190% more in China than elsewhere. This will make more sense if you’ve been to China and have experienced the culture.
The World of a Chinese Girl
The life of a Chinese girl varies greatly depending on her level of status and position in society. Average to ok looking not-so-rich girls will be constantly pressured to fulfil their parents expectations in terms study, work, and then marriage. All girls will, however, spend a lot of time watching tv, sleeping, and eating.
Chinese society hasn’t programmed people to be out going, have lots of hobbies, or do anything that isn’t productive in terms of education and money, so don’t expect Chinese girls to be popping up with ‘interesting’ bits to their lives. Having said that, I feel I must also throw out that Chinese girls do have a lot more going on than you think. It’s a Chinese habit to only open up to friends — sharing a lot about your life with strangers isn’t very normal.
Chinese girls are doing stuff and are usually interesting people, it’s just that they don’t have as much freedom or free time for socializing or hobbies but thankfully this is slowly changing.
Western people usually identify a lot with their job and their hobbies. Chinese people seem to identify more with their status level and how much money they have, which causes many people to be very very similar. For example any girl who has many interests, is independent, and has travelled a lot is ‘cool’ or ‘interesting’, and this applied equally to Chinese girls… the problem is that most girls don’t get the opportunity to do this unless they are extremely rich. The result is that everyone has a pretty similar life experience — they are all trying to get the same socially condoned outcome: Good Grades, Get into a good university, Good job, Good BF and Marriage…
The result can be very boring interactions. You will have repetitive conversations with most girls because the majority of girls and everyone else in China have been pushed through this ‘ABC 123’ person machine. You end up with most people putting on the same front. Below the surface, though, is a decent amount of individuality and it can be coaxed forth.
Anyways, the point is that you need to understand that there are particular ‘keys’ which work with Chinese people/culture very well, simply because a lot of people are very similar.
Most girls will spend their time studying/working and during their free time will: shop, eat, sing at KTV (Karaoke), sleep, watch DVDs or the latest popular American TV show, and take narcissistic photos of themselves (…there is even a special camera designed specifically for doing self shots…).
Of course, some girls break the mold. There is the exception of rich or taken-care-of-girls who don’t need to work. They usually go between getting their nails done, shopping, getting their hair done, and eating, with the occasional table at a bar or singing at KTV thrown in.
Not all shopping is the same though. I’d like to distinguish between two types: rich girl shopping & poor girl shopping. Rich girl shopping is where you buy a bunch of stuff and then get coffee or eat something with friends so you can show off what you bought. Some girls even post photos to WeChat (A messaging/social app) to show off. Poor girl shopping, by contrast, is where you do mostly ‘window shopping’ and either buy something cheap or nothing at all, and then you meet up with your friends, eat food, take pictures of the food, and post those pictures in WeChat in lieu of the expensive purchases.
Face is extremely important in China.
Think of face as ‘oohhhh look at me! Look how good I am!’ points. The more you have, the more ‘ooohhh’ you can be. How other people judge you, your ‘status level,’ and how much money you make are all extremely important in China. As a rule, Chinese people have very similar goals in life, as well:
1. Good grades, successful education.
This gives their parents something to brag about to other parents and gives them ‘face’.
2. Getting into a good University.
This is extremely important as education is seen as a way to secure a good future. Getting into a good university is very important to Chinese people of all levels. If you went to one of the top universities in Shanghai or Beijing (or even better if it’s one of the top universities in American/England/Australia) then you’ve got a better chance of landing a good job and gaining more face for yourself and your parents.
Think I’m exaggerating? In China they have parks where the older folk go to advertise their sons, daughters, nieces and nephews. Yes, advertise. In these parks, People plaster signs in these park that display a person’s hight, salary, university, and even age.
I personally was at a park a few years back doing Kung Fu when an older guy approached me to talk before telling me that his granddaughter worked in a bank, giving me her contact details, and writing mine down to give to her. I guess you can always depend on grandpa to try and hook you up. You don’t even need to leave the house.
Girls Just Wanna Degree
To close up, here is a video made by some Chinese girls. In it, they sing about what they expect from guys for marriage. The video gives some very clear ideas of what the cultural and societal values are. It is also a stab at an earlier video made by some guys complaining about not being able to find a wife because of the gender imbalance.
For the original link, click here.
Here are the lyrics in English:
Warm sunshine, shining on your face
Looking at the young guys all around, every one of them are very girly
Having a house and a car is what women long for
Marrying the right person is the biggest wish
Asking you if you have a car, asking you if you have a house
My mother will also ask you how much savings you have
If you have no car, if you also have no house
Hurry move aside and don’t block my way
I also have a car, I also have a house
As well as RMB in the bank
If you guys aren’t even as capable as me
Don’t depend on me, I’m not your mother
You don’t have a car, you don’t have a house
Don’t expect to get a beauty into bed
Pretending to be poor, you only drive a lousy BMW
Don’t pretend you’re a rich guy who can keep me as his mistress
You don’t have a car, you don’t have a house
Yet you still want to get married and be a groom
If your life isn’t well off
Why should I accompany you in wandering
You say I am realistic/practical, that I may as well admit
You can call me a gold-digger and I won’t feel hurt
A man after all should be like a man
Without a car, without a house, forget about finding a bride.
3. Making lots of money
Money is power. It’s also the fruit of evil, especially in China. If you have money in China, you can do anything, and I mean ANYTHING. Money makes a massive difference in terms of your social value, it really is a clear indicator of someone who is ‘successful’ or not. Fuck life experience, personal development, ect, ect, ect.
It’s all about the money.
A lot of Western people say Chinese girls are ‘gold diggers’ and I totally disagree with this, I’ve heard it a lot of times and it’s always from people who have a very limited amount of experience and don’t really understand the Chinese side of the coin. China has lots of poor people (more than half of the population are agricultural workers) and when you’re poor it fucking sucks — you’re stuck with shitty medical care, you have to eat low quality food, and you are at the mercy of the non poor.
When it comes to money, Chinese people prioritize it above everything else (Yes I am generalizing here) as it provides ‘security’ that you can’t get any other way in China. It’s a common practice for a Chinese woman to have a secret bank account and squirrel money away into it just as a back up in case the marriage fails.
Think about it this way: In medieval times you had nobility and peasants. China is still very similar to this. When you are rich you are like nobility, but when you’re poor you live a peasant’s life. Sure, there is a larger middle class in China than there would have been in Medieval times… but China is pretty much on par with 14th century Europe.
4. Getting married to an ‘acceptable’ person and having a family:
Average looking girls don’t usually get much attention. China is very materialistic. This is due to a lack of religion and security …having money means you have security and people envy you. With money comes expensive toys and hot women. Rich guys in China very often have multiple women on the go …so this makes average looking girls relatively invisible in comparison. I am not saying that they get no attention – they certainly get some. What I am saying is that beautiful women in China get A L O T of attention, like whatever you think x1000000.
Hot Chinese girl can sit at home and open MoMo or WeChat and wait 30 minutes, after those 30 minutes guaranteed there will be at least 10 guys trying to talk to her and all of those 10 would be willing to date her, buy her dinner, and bang her.
This all relates back to maintaining face in public — your social standing, essentially. If you look bad publicly, you’re losing face, if you look good, you’re gaining face, something Chinese people are hyper aware of. Face is why lots of girls are more selective about who they marry, they need their parents approval to marry. If they marry without their family’s blessing, they can be ostracized from the rest of their family.
Understand their Dating World, There is No “Hanging Out”
Chinese girls don’t generally ‘hang out’ with foreign guys. There is either romantic interest, or there isn’t. There are exceptions but as a general rule any girl that is hanging around with a foreign guy is assumed to be banging him.
The Chinese work more around ‘courtship’ rather than casual dating or seduction as casual dating is a more western concept and seduction happens more in France or Italy than in Asia. If you disagree with me then please read Memoirs of Casanova (a mere 1500+ pages long) and take a trip to France and Italy.
The point of courtship is to create a solid social connection that supplies both sides with some form of social value. It also has relatively well defined rules or guidelines for people to follow. Anyone whose heard Chinese girls say “Chinese people don’t do that,” or “Chinese people aren’t like that” will get what I mean.
Due to the long history and general group conformity of Chinese culture, people have a much stronger idea of what “Chinese people” are and adhere to a broadly agreed upon ideal. This means that Chinese people end up being very similar to each other, as opposed to in the West where people are a lot more individualized.
These two videos explain it beautifully:
What it’s like as a Chinese girl to date a Foreigner:
What it’s like as a Chinese girl to date a Foreigner Part 2:
Chinese Society Is About Status, Money, and Family
There is more to it than that but in a nutshell those are the most important things to Chinese people.
The idea of marrying for “love” has only become popular in recent years and even still isn’t a consideration in a lot of marriages. This doesn’t mean that people in China don’t love each other or that love doesn’t matter, but it does mean that people are willing to marry for status and money.
If you’re Chinese from China and not a rich guy, you’re gonna have a difficult time of it.
The majority of average wage earners find it very possible get an incredibly average girlfriend. In these relationships, though, women overwhelmingly wear the pants because they know their guy probably can’t do much better. The truth is often painful.
Foreign guys have a lot of assumed value already, regardless of actual value, and girls find them interesting simply because they’re different. This is a trend that carries over from one country to another. Even girls in my country, Australia, get really excited over European guys making it pretty clear how widespread this phenomenon is.
Here is an interesting video about the ‘left over men’ in China:
It’s on YouTube, so open your proxy. If you don’t have one then get one at www.Astrill.com:
Stay tuned for my future articles where I teach you how to talk to, and attract, top tier Chinese girls the right way. Trust me, you’re not going to want to miss out. Until next time!