by Martin

Over the past few months, I’ve been writing a series discussing three disadvantages that guys have when it comes to meeting women:

1) You have to make the initial gamble (I mean investment… ^_^ )

2) Women don’t care how men feel until they’re “in love” and even then, they’re really just worried you’ll get rid of them.

3) Being a victim is incompatible with being a man which means that you’re always wrong and bad and she’s always  getting hurt abused, and mis-treated and you have to suck it up.

In this post, I’ll discuss this 3rd one in depth.

Women always win arguments.  This is something that men have lamented for decades. I realized that it’s not something that can be fixed, because male-female dynamics are fundamentally set up so that women are the victims. Men are brought up to take care of themselves, to take responsibility for their actions and consequences. In fact, being able to take care of yourself is a fundamental aspect of being a man, along with taking care of a family. It’s not the wife’s responsibility if there is no food.  Her job is to get it on the table. This is especially true in Asia, where in countries such as Korea and Japan husbands have traditionally given all of their earnings to their wife, who then gives the husband a monthly allowance!

Men are supposed to be an active force in the world and, as a such, the cause of their own circumstances.

It’s very important to remember this because while it has changed in the US over the past few decades, this situation is still very true in Asia. In the west, if a woman wants a nice big house, expensive jewelry, clothes, or exotic vacations, she is supposed to go and get it herself. In Asia, while there are occasionally high powered women CEOs or high level executives, avenues for making serous money are inaccessible to women in Asia. They just can’t earn the same kind of money that Asian men can earn, or even women in the west.

This means that a woman’s lifestyle is wholly dependent on the men in her life. Either her father is going to have to take care of her so she can spend money on a car, designer clothes, or trips, or her significant other has to step up to provide those for her. The implications of this have been critical for women in Asia. If she has a kid, and her husband divorces her, she can’t “go and get a job”.  She’s need the support of her family–assuming they don’t ostracize her.

This has three major implications for relationship dynamics. First, since their lifestyle is dependent on men, Asian women need men more than men need them. Since they depend on men so much, they need to skillfully influence (manipulate?) the men in their lives for survival, and finally, she needs to squeeze as much compliance out of you as she possibly can. Ultimately you’re responsible for her, PERIOD. That makes any harm that comes your way, your fault.

A victim is a passive role.  It means that someone did something to you.  And as a man, it’s taboo to let someone take advantage of you. Ultimately that would mean that you’re a weak man. And there’s the rub.

“The Strong did what they could, and the weak suffered what they must”