Cabin Crew Girls

We don’t usually associate CCGs with attractive women in the west (thank you Airline employee unions for allowing senior citizens to work in the skies). However, in Asia it’s a whole different story. Asian CCGs are young, fashionable, hot, and desirable. From my experience talking to hundreds of them and dating dozens, including a few long term serious relationships here’s a quick overview on how to date CCGs.

Rule 1: Do not call them stewardesses or flight attendants

First, let’s discuss a little bit about their psychology. She is not a stewardess. Call her flight crew or cabin crew. You have to understand that this is a career choice for them, even if they rationalize that it is just a “short term” career. It will do you no good to trivialize her choice by calling her a stewardess. The CC recruitment process in Asia is extremely competitive and the girls are judged on everything from their looks, age, training, language abilities, job suitability, etc. Go to any CC job fair in Asia and there will be about a thousand applicants for about 20-30 positions.

Once the girls have been recruited, they undergo further training that takes about three to four months. After this, they will start operating flights. CCGs get a monthly flight roster. These are released a month in advance and will determine their workload and consequently their time off. They usually have five to eight days off per month in-station (base city where they live).

There are 3 types of work schedules: Turn-around, where they fly to and from their base city every day; double-sector, where they fly to another city and back two times in a day; and layover, where they stay anywhere from 10 to 48+ hours “out-station” before flying back to their base city. The amount of time “out-station” varies according to the flight route and schedule.

CCGs get a mix of all 3 each month, and the more turn-around flights they have the better, as they are the most likely to have free time after work and have the energy to go out with you. CCGs hate double-sector work schedules, but depending on the routes, it is also possible that she’ll be available after work, while lay-over heavy schedules are the worst because they are usually quite tired whenever their in their base-city. Most regional carriers will only have turn-around or double-sector schedules

CCGs meet a lot of guys all over the world during the course of their career, and that means that their expectations are above the normal standard that they would have in their countries. However, they are also aware of the reality of the dating world and most will find a guy to date who is just okay for the time being while shopping around for upgrades. Because of this, CCGs will have a lot of guys after them and finding the right timing is the key element that differentiates between getting thrown in with the rest of the also-rans or getting the girl. Therefore, you will have to try with a lot CCGs to successfully get a date, which is the hardest part since normally she won’t go out with you unless she sees potential long-term partner material in you.

As such, because of their job, CCGs are:

• extremely independent,
• they have been approached substantially,
• they also have considerable dating knowledge provided by their extensive network of colleagues,
• they will put in the absolute minimal amount of effort to meet you.

There is considerable variability in terms of their dating goals, just as with the general population. Some girls want a boyfriend, some want to just date, and some are just happy with getting male attention. Again, the key element here is timing, which is why your frame is that of the guy who knows what he wants, is persistent, but lives a life rife with abundance. Here’s an example of what they’re thinking on their days off: I’m finally off, now I can relax for 24 hours before my next flight! What should I do today? Catch up on sleep after last night’s 16-hour flight, hangout with my girlfriends, clean my room and do laundry, call home, watch my favorite shows, go shopping for clothes, or meet that one guy who was kind of cute, my friends said he’s a player though… What should I do?

Where to meet them? On board, on the ground, or online. I travel a lot. So my preferred method is on board.

For the streets, an easy way to spot them is to look for young and hot girls with black or dark brown hair, simple makeup, generally tall, and no highlights of any kind. They also carry the most expensive handbags (LV, Balenciaga, Fendi, etc.) and are by themselves or in groups of two or three girls. The most common places to spot them are shopping/outlet malls, main touristic sights, or coffee shops/restaurants near these areas.

When I see a girl I suspect is a CCG, my go to line is: “Hey, I just came back from x city and you operated my flight!” After saying this, it really doesn’t matter if a) she’s not actually cabin crew or b) she is crew but not on that route because I follow up with a few funny jokes or observations and just keep the conversation going. Here’s an example of how a typical conversation I might have:

Me: hey just came back from x city and you operated my flight!
Girl: no, you have the wrong person.
Me: oh so sorry. I just noticed you’re wearing x and have an y style about you, made me think you travel a lot. You’re not from around here, are you?
Girl: yes.
Me: Oh I thought you were from [Jamaica, Alaska, Africa, anywhere outlandish.]!
Girl: No, lol
Me: That’s what happens with red-eye flights. I actually got here this morning and left the book I was reading in the seat back pocket of the plane. A pretty flight crew girl chased after me with it, she was so kind… and quick! Then I saw you… walking just the same way! Are you always so quick?
Girl: No, lol I don’t know.
Me: My friends are going to kill me ‘cause they’re waiting for me, but I think you must have a very artistic job like a dancer…

On FB, you can search for girls working in different airline companies by searching for the airline name or you can try to search for airline swap groups by searching: “(airline name) swap group”. A swap group is a group that girls post in to try and “swap” their flights with other CC in their same airline—some airlines allow this practice and others don’t so you never know what you’ll come up with.

Once I find a girl I like, I’ll send them a direct message. The first message I usually send is: “omg you are gorgeous xo”. Online game is my least preferred method since it doesn’t really fit with my style, but I have found that direct messages like the example are more effective because it’s an efficient screening tool and the girls who reply will know your intentions from the start. FB game in itself is a whole different topic but I will just say that your profile picture is very important with respect to response rate. Have someone rate your picture, for example on the whoshere app on iphone or any of the photo rating websites.

Rule 2: Get yourself into a fun, friendly, talkative mood pre-flight

• Talk to everyone you can in a friendly manner before the flight: the taxi driver, shuttle bus passengers, counter staff, people in the lounge, etc.
• Try deep, controlled breathing like at http://www.heartmath.com/personal-use/quick-coherence-technique.html
• Here’s a cool trick: Imagine you are stretching and extend your arm to point at five imaginary points with respect to your body: left, right, front, back, up. Then shift your focus among the five points to get you into good mood.
• Smile.
• Display open body language and have good posture.

Rule 3: On board logistics and good conversation that shows you in a good light are 90% of what it takes to successfully get a date

In general, you should:

• Sit near the galley at the back of the plane and get an aisle seat. You can find out where to sit on seatguru.com and then select your seat during online check-in either the day before your flight or request the seats at the counter during airport check in.
• On board the aircraft, talk to other passengers and CCGs you’re not interested in and even guys.
• Bring the right kind of book. Anything that girls like but isn’t too girly is good—Paulo Coelho, for example. Language books are fine too. It has to be an actual book, print edition.
• Wear smart, casual clothes. No crocs with socks or backpacker outfits. The fit is more important than the brand. Look clean; bring floss/tooth brush, body spray/cologne.
• To get her attention, touch her softly when she walks past by brushing the back of your hand on her arm, then ask for Tylenol, water, chewing gum, etc.
• Talk to her after the meal service when people are sleeping and CCGs are not that busy. Making a comment about something that’s going on is always good. Because they’re actually working, you have to make sure you pay attention to your environment so that you pick an appropriate time for you to end the interaction and come back later.
• Learn as much as possible from the aviation industry (airport codes, phonetic alphabet, airlines, airline codes, destinations, flight durations, aircrafts, uniforms, job duties and seniority, etc.). One thing I often do is ask her to spell her name using the ICAO/NATO phonetic alphabet.

You can find it at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NATO_phonetic_alphabet (it helps me remember their names and it’s fun because 50% of the time they get it wrong).

For example:
Me: Let’s play a fun game! It’s easy; if I win I get some champagne from business class. If you win, I’ll write a praise message about you on the passenger comments form.
CCG: OK, sure.
Me: You know how sometimes you have to spell airport codes using the aviation phonetic alphabet, like BKK would be Bravo Kilo Kilo, right? Well, if you can spell your name this way, you win. Easy!
CCG: Ah I see. Okay my name is Yoko so Y is for…? lol.
Me: Okay one glass of champagne for me!
CCG: No wait…
Me: I’ll help you a little bit. Yankee Oscar…
CCG: lol I’ll get the champagne…

-Tell funny stories related to their job. Anything about passengers, traveling, cabin crew/pilot friends will work great. For example:

Me: Flying is not easy these days! People feel stressed but passengers can be funny sometimes. Once I was in a full flight in economy coming back from holidays in the Philippines.
CCG: oh poor you! I hate operating F2 MNL flights.
Me: I know, check this out: there’s this guy siting next to me wearing sunglasses. I’m on the aisle seat having my fifth Gin and Tonic, he’s by the window and we’re about to land.
CCG: omg how did you get 5 drinks? We’re only supposed to give out 3 tops!
Me: yeah, this girl recognized me from another flight and was trying to get me drunk! Anyway, you know how, when you’re landing, crew instructs passengers to store their trays, straighten their seats and put the shades of the windows up, right? So she gets to our row and the window shade is down so she asks the guy to put the shades up. Then he looks upset and confused. Starts asking why he should do this and says he sees no reason to do it. So she extends her arm towards the window. At this point the guy says fine, I’ll do it. Then he holds up his sunglasses and says: okay! I took them off, are you happy now?!!
CCG: omg lol

-Let her know what you like about her from the start. I usually scan for desirable traits in a potential partner (languages, travel, education, cooking, active lifestyle, non smoker, socially calibrated, etc.).

-Get her number or e-mail on a high note. For example: “hey when we touch down my friends and I are going to a party in (x amazing place). You seem cool, write down your phone/email here and I’ll let you know.” I make sure to have a pen and paper ready.

Logistic essentials:

Business or economy?

Flying business class is a not very effective for several reasons. In the business cabin, the CCGs have higher service standards/protocols and are more closely monitored by their supervisors. Also, business passengers are much more demanding and will keep CCGs busy around the clock. So for the most part, bring you’re a-game on economy flights and relax and enjoy the comfy flat-bed seats in business or first class. However, there is a fun game I’ve used in business class with good results, basically you pass around a few secret notes to her on small pieces of paper or a napkin to create an us vs. the world bubble between you. Here’s an example:
Me: Your name is Paweena. I’m learning Thai, is this how you write it? [Write it down and show her]
CCG: Yes, very good! Anything I can help you with, just let me know.
Me: Actually… [Jot down: “guy next to me won’t stop talking… can you give him some wine? A LOT of wine actually 😉 ”
Other notes included taking the blanket home with me [“don’t tell, I’m keeping this blanket!”], notes about her coworkers [“girl working with you looks like a cat ^^”].

Short haul or long haul flights?

Medium (3-6 hours) and long haul (6-12 hours) flights are the best, ultra long (12+ hours) are second best, and short haul (<3 hours) flights are more challenging. A widespread misconception is that CCGs are “waitresses” on a plane. Folks espousing this belief are, not only wrong, but also diminishing their prospects with a CCG. CCGs have many different tasks to complete on board including food & beverage, safety and security checklists, passenger/incident/operational reports, supervisor/peer performance reviews, first aid/counseling procedures, among many other individual and team tasks all of which are pre-, post-flight and on-board.

This is why short haul flights are challenging. CCGs simply do not possess enough down time if any on short haul flights. Another reason is that short haul planes are smaller and do not offer enough space for people to walk or lounge about. However, there are simple strategies to overcome this. For example, board the plane early, be the last to disembark, or sit across the jump seat in the emergency exit row to talk more with her during take off and landing. Once you have some relative privacy with her you can mention something like: “I’d be kicking myself all day if I didn’t talk with you… here write down your email address, I’ll let you know the [coolest, best, most amazing places] in x…

Star alliance or oneworld?

Ideally, the only frequent flyer program you want to join is the mile-high club. However, it is important that you get a higher flyer status on whatever airline/partnership you use most frequently. The reason for this is that there are many benefits in terms of logistics (early boarding, for example).

Aisle or window seat?

Aisle seat all the way. There are many advantages to having an aisle seat. First, you have ample opportunity to get some light touching going when she’s stopped in the aisle to engage you. Also, you get more eye contact. Moreover, you are free to roam around the plane without having to wake up the snoring old man next to you to let you get around him. The ideal seat is an aisle seat at the back of the plane, near the galley.

Rule 4: Do not rush setting up a date

• Always make any date plan sound very casual so she doesn’t feel pressured. There’s a party, festival, holiday, birthday, best sushi chef in town, etc.
• Be careful not to screw up your chances with poor messages and e-mail. Don’t be reactive if she doesn’t write back or cancels. All my past girlfriends canceled or seemed disinterested at one point but once they have sex with you, you’re pretty much in the driver’s seat (or captain’s seat). Be sure not to express too much interest and in fact, make it seem like you’re not really after them as they are used to guys desperately chasing them and it’s a big turn-off.
• Make sure to plan your dates well. CCGs have a set roster every month planned to the minute. My girlfriends always hate when I’m lazy and forget their days off. My standard first date includes several locations within the same venue. So we could meet at a big hotel or a mall and do the whole date there. So I might get dinner (1hr), then move to a cafe to have smoothies/dessert (30mins), then go somewhere else for drinks (1-2hrs). Then I either say, “Hey drinks here are expensive, I got drinks at my place” or I’ll put them in my car, drive them to my place and say, “Hey, I just got this awesome travel book, help me plan my next trip”.
• One warning. CCGs will know many ways to detect if you’re a player or not. I’ve had girls check for hairs, scents, bed sheets, slippers, photos, count condoms, origin of souvenirs/chocolates, etc. I strongly suggest extreme privacy settings if you plan on dating more than one CCG at a time. Don’t be lazy with this. Password protect every electronic device. Keep track of the stories you tell. Have an accomplice to back you up.
• Role play: For example, she is your new girlfriend/wife/bodyguard/hostage/vampire/intern/etc. My current Chinese girlfriend and I role-played she was in interviewing for a job with me. A real job interview can be stressful but I made it fun and exciting. So I told her it’s not allowed to flirt with the boss and modeled with her what kinds of behavior would be considered flirting/inappropriate. This way, I got to play with her hair, hug her, fix her clothes, kiss her cheeks.
• One more thing, when you do meet up with her, you need a very meticulous plan of what you will do on the date and you need to plan some alone time. You are operating on a very small window so errors are magnified. This is because their flight roster is planned in a way that they only have a very limited amount of actual face time with you. On my first dates I knew not only the places where I’ll take them, but also make sure to go in advance and get to know the staff and best tables.

Rule 5: Keep it varied and make her experience a wide range of emotions

• Spice her up emotionally with your texts and it’s normal if she doesn’t reply in a few days considering the different time zones, lack of wifi spots, etc.
• If you find a certain destination she will fly into, ask her to buy something small and specific for you. Think something from the duty free in Tokyo or something you know is easy to find but specific to a region. Wuerstchen in Frankfurt, Dorayaki in Tokyo, fridge magnets from any city really, stuff like that. An inside joke with one of my ex-girlfriends was that she was going to bring absinthe for me (it’s illegal where I am).
• CCGs’ favorite conversation topics include: passengers, other crew, pilots/first officers chasing after them, cultural differences, travel and languages, company rules/news/training, their “batch mates” (the group they did their training with and often, share living accommodations with), life in their base city, things they miss from home, and popular TV shows/movies.
• Always come from a position of abundance, even if it takes several months. Usually the main reason things didn’t progress beyond just a few dates is because I pushed for sex too early and clumsily which showed way too much interest. Other times, I got too needy and insecure and started sending reactive/possessive texts. It’s better to wait and be calm and chill, and put no pressure on them whatsoever.
• Travel stories and future travel plans are always great topics to discuss. Also, share your insights about her culture and show appreciation for her language, food, culture, etc. One of my favorite role-plays to amp up the emotions is demanding passenger/over worked cabin crew, role-reversals, etc.
• Also, write every bit of useful information down. This is important because remembering those small details really impresses them and makes them feel that you’re close. I tend to take notes on things like: their favorite ice cream flavor, birthday, home town, siblings, horoscope, inside jokes, etc.

All in all, CCGs in Asia are hot and desirable. Many CCGs I have met and dated have been former models and TV commercial actresses. To establish a successful relationship with them, it’s a good idea to understand where and how to meet them and also the strategies you can use to set up the first date. After that, it’s up to your congruency and intent as a man to make things happen.

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