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Last Updated on August 12, 2022 by MiaLearn How to get the Asian Girls of your Dreams
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Can I get a Japanese girl to have oral sex with me?
It’s very normal there, so if a Japanese girl is willing to have vaginal sex with you, it’s likely that she’ll also have oral sex with you.
How’s it going RedP! So I’ve joined a Chinese dating site about over a month ago. I live in the US and have a desire to travel to China in the near future. Ok, I have come in contact with many females on the site, most of them to be scammers (of course). Or most of the women just fizzle away. But, I have found and been talking with a nice girl from China for a little over a month now! Her personality is awesome and she doesn’t seem “put off” that I’m a Black guy which is great LOL! We talk off and on not by my choice (I want to talk more)… I can’t quite figure her out.
She is traditional Chinese. She’s 31 and lives in near Shanghai. And she tells me that her mother stresses to her about getting married. A constant stress on her. I know this is typical of traditional Chinese parents. We have developed a nice friendship. She always tells me I’m a great friend. I believe she knows what I’m looking for as I have told her that starting a family is most important to me. Yet she still talks to me like I’m just a friend. Most days I need to text her first to initiate conversation. Some days she won’t even text me. So, I continue to search through the site and as I view women who have “viewed you (me)”, I can see that she has had activity on the site.
Later I text her to see if she would respond, and she did. I had asked how she was doing, she says, “Ok. I’m just stressed because my mom always wants me to find a husband, and I agree with her. I want to find someone for me.” I was honest with her and told her what I thought of her (the girl). She thanked me very much. And then she said, “I can laugh, be sad, be comfortable with you. You are so special to me!” I told her that she was very special to me as well! Which is honest.
We have already talked about me visiting her this summer(she is not from Shanghai originally and her parents don’t live in Shanghai). And she has told me how excited she is about me visiting her. But because I feel she only views me as a friend, I still search and again, I can see her still searching ( i wish i couldn’t see her activity). Does she only view me as a “friend” and nothing more? Is she afraid her parents might not approve of me? Am I wasting my time with her? I would greatly appreciate any advice/help. Thank you!
You may already be aware, but just to reiterate, at 31yo she’s about 6 years over the hill. There is even a term for women her age who aren’t married in China–they’re called “left-over” women. So, she’s under FAR more pressure than you probably realize. Also, since she’s likely an only child, she’s her parent’s only chance at grand kids and continuing the family line which is still a big deal for Chinese mainlanders.
It’s doubtful that she thinks of you as just a friend. Everything you’ve said, seems like totally normal Chinese girl behavior. She’s not going to put all her eggs in one basket by only focusing on you. She’s looking for a husband and she can’t afford to wait around until summer in the hopes that you’ll actually come and it all works out. If she’s wrong and you didn’t end up coming, or it didn’t work out that’s another 6 months she’s over the hill.
She’s doing exactly what you should be doing which is shopping around. If you really are going to China this summer, don’t just meet up with the one girl, meet up with as many as you possibly can. A lot (most?) of them will flake, anyway.
Asian girls generally don’t initiate contact with a guy, even if they like him a lot because how much they like a guy isn’t as important as how much he’s dedicated to her. In this case, you have enough going to assume the best, but be sure to also stack things in your favor by lining up other options.
Good luck, man. I hope it all works out.
Thank you for you input RPQ! Yes I am VERY aware of the “Leftover Woman” persona. It’s a shame. Well, this morning she tried to express her feelings to me saying “I don’t know the words to describe my emotion to you. I feel so warm and true. Thank you!” I took that as a really good sign. But as you said, I guess I need to stack things in my favor. It just feels weird because personally, I know she’s the best girl I have EVER met! I’m really starting to think maybe I need to get the process of visiting her going sooner! But, none-the-less, I’ll keep trying to stack. Looks like I’ll need to message more women living in the Shanghai area…Thanks again bro, MUCH appreciated!
Yeah, man…it could totally be fine. There are sooooo many cases of Asian women pulling the Lucy from peanuts where everything seems amazing and then they pull the football away at the last minute leaving you flat on your back.
I just want to make sure you don’t feel your trip was totally wasted. If things work out with her, you can always cancel on the girls you’re less interested in, anyway!
Ok Red, I have been wondering about this…
As an African-American man, what are my chances specifically with Chinese, Korean or Japanese women?!! I mean strictly romantic relationship, not a fling. So as you know, I’ve been talking (texting) to this good girl from China. It’s been going about the same.
Actually, she expressed some really, I think, meaningful words to me early this week calling me her best friend! That was awesome! But… Basically there’s some doubt in my mind. Because many of the women I have met (Chinese online dating) have usually fizzled out on me. Granite, this is the longest any girl I met (Chinese) has talked to me.
Anyhow, I’m definitely interested in Korean and Japanese women as well, but I don’t know my chances with them?! I’m sure my chances are actually higher than with a Chinese girl hahaha. I chose China because I really really dig Chinese culture. And I want to visit there. Also, Chinese women were showing me the most interest (online) out of the three at first hahaa. And it wasn’t even close!
But make no mistake, I do really like the girl I’m talking with currently, very much!!! It’s just as you said, I want to make sure I’m stacking things in my favor. Giving myself the best possible chance.
Any insight on my chances with Korean or Japanese compared to Chinese? Thanks RPQ.
In general, I think that Koreans and Japanese are more open to dating African-Americans than Chinese are. However, unless you’re planning on learning Japanese and living in Japan, your options for Japanese are less than Chinese and Koreans because educated Chinese speak the best English out of the 3, and Japanese usually want to live in Japan while a large percentage of Chinese and Koreans are eager to get out of their countries.
I also think that Koreans and Chinese are far better at living in foreign countries than Japanese are.
As far as online dating goes, Chinese seem to be the most responsive while Japanese are the least so that may account for your experience being better with Chinese.
I don’t know if you’re interested but you’d have the most luck with Philippina and Thai women since you’re living so far away. Philippinas, especially would be open to traveling to and living overseas. I don’t have any personal experience with them so I can’t say much beyond that.
I do almost no online dating so that’s about all I can offer you by way of advice, but I hope that helps. I’ll be better able to assist you once you have some face-to-face time lined up.
To be honest, I wouldn’t mind living in Japan, Korea or China hahaha. I understand the pros and cons, but like most people, I really like to travel and experience new things. So the thought of me picking up my things (or leaving some things behind) to move to one of those countries doesn’t phase me at all. Especially for a woman who is truly serious about a relationship.
Yes, I’ve tried Filipinas…good grief, they almost ALL seem like scammers or liars. And I’m not trying to generalize! I’m just speaking from my personal experiences. Factually, Filipinas are not shy to show interest in you. They will contact YOU. Which was nice for a change, but like I said…most I came in contact with had an “ulterior motive”. That said, I’m sure there are really good ones out there.
I really don’t want to do online dating. And actually, my city does have a fairly decent amount of Asian population but, unfortunately most of the single Asian women here are mostly college students…and there’s a WHOLE bunch! I looked into online dating in hopes of finding what I’m looking for. I went straight to the source (s). Well, as close to the source as possible w/o traveling to another country hahaa. But believe me when I say; I’d rather travel!
Which is why I want to go see the girl I’ve been talking with in China (mainland). Thank you RedPQ. I really appreciate the help man!
What’s wrong with College girls? I don’t know how old you are but many 50+yo guys date girls in their early 20s in Asia. Many Asian girls have no issue dating an older guy, and while I know that’s often frowned upon in the west, you’re responsible for your own happiness and success in life so you have to do what works for you.
Haha, no, I’m not nearly that old. Shave about 20 yrs from that haha. You have a great point about happiness. You are right. I personally have no problem with college girls. I do know that many Asian women prefer older men (and often, much older). I think I got caught up the “western way of thinking/dating”. I should’ve known better. Thanks for opening my eyes even more.
So the next question is, what is the best way to approach them?! I see many walking the streets here. Be it to or from class, strolling or what-have-you… And some walk in pairs or a small group. Street pickups with an Asian women can be extremely challenging. Especially those in groups and even more so, those who aren’t very Westernized. I know from experience (very little haha) that they’re focused mainly on School Work, not a love life.
I’m a huge foodie so I also see some while I’m doing my daily grocery shopping at local Asian Markets. Heck, specifically speaking, since Chinese cuisine is my favorite of all, I tend to dine-in or go for take-out at many local Chinese resturants on the reg! And I mean the resturants right across from the campus. How do you suggest I get it going? My approach? Any guidance would be greatly appreciated! Thank you RedpoleQ
Approaching Asian girls is what I teach in my Entourage VIP Program and in my live trainings. But you can see some videos of how it’s done and some advice from Kane Vast on our YouTube channel.
You can check it out at:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCu5O3a227ikaU6q9ab2ftvg
That’s your full blown opinion and not facts. Take that head outta your butt.
how to date Filipino women? what are they like and how to impress them win them over and maintain a relationship with them?
what is the character of Filipino women? what are they like in marriage and what do they love the most in men? how do they take care of their man and keep the house?
Yo! You mention that a japanese girl’s affection pretty much dies when you marry her, because all that affection shifts from you to your children. Surely, there is a way to prevent this? If I ever married, I’d make sure she’s addicted to me beforehand, and give her lots of powerful orgasms frequently – aside from the usual good relationship management. Would that be enough? Thanks in advance!
I think that it really comes down to selecting the right woman and luck. If you look at this article (http://www.stippy.com/japan-culture/is-japan-really-sexless/) about sexless marriage in Japan, and pay special attention to the 1,211 comments you’ll see a lot of different experiences from western men dating and then marrying Japanese women.
Some of them are happy with their marriages, but the vast majority of men married to Japanese women and several women married to Japanese men have the problem of sexlessness in their marriage.
So, while what you plan to do is important the evidence suggests that you should be EXTREMELY cautious as many men before you thought they had it all handled only to find out differently once it was too late.
To be slightly more clear, I don’t think it’s about “affection” per se, that’s the problem. I think it’s more about sex being a low priority activity because of the role she’s taking on as a mother. Additionally, I suspect that because Japanese women often don’t live alone until marriage and children often follow soon after, the rather large lifestyle shift of a) living alone b) living with someone else for the first time c) running a household d) raising children all combine to put a lot of pressure on her to manage many things she’s never had to manage before.
Great question, and good luck!
Thank you for the lengthy explanation, I’m very grateful!
You’re welcome!
Hi
Hello RedP! So I have a question” should I delete a Chinese girls Wechat and contact details?”
So I’ve been in South China just over year and I met a co worker. So about a year ago I kind of confessed that I had feelings for her (while she had a boyfriend and they are together for say a year and a bit) and then for about 3 months there was no going out together just the 2 of us while we saw and worked with each other side by side.Then after we hung out together alone a few times. When she had problem with friends or work she came to me for support. There was a lot of text interaction as well with lots of personal feeling messages. One night she had wisdom tooth problems and she was sending me messages at 3am. Then she got another job with all the support I could give her. Then when she left I arranged things to surprise her.
Before she started her new job she went on a trip with her Boyfriend and I never contacted her.then when she came back she contacted me and we met up but I kind of got answers that they got closer. So I decided to let things be while it hurt so after about 2 weeks she heard I was sick and contacted me and wechat each other. Then while I decided to ignore her and be distant in my messages she keeps finding a way to Wechat me. Sometimes it’s about that she needs help in her job, things she is confused about and sometimes just to chat. Every time I decide to pull away and move on she finds me, when there are times I want to forget her she just sends a message. So I asked her out spontaneously and she said no how about the next day to which I turned her down. Then a few days ago was her birthday and I called her just past midnight on the day and sent a video. Then I asked her to dinner spontaneously around 10am to which she. Replied no after 3 hours then at about 11:30pm she sent me a message saying thank you it’s so awesome. Then in the. Owning she sent me a message saying thanks for always being there for me and I love the video. Now 2 days later I posted that got injured on Wechat and a day after she contacted me asking so many details and sounds worried with many wechats.
Now I have decided that I should move on and meet others which I do have a few options.
But some how she keeps coming to chat.
So should I delete her contact details or not? I don’t know if I’m strong enough to keep going back in and trying to move on. I do like her a lot but she hasn’t left her boyfriend or made anything that I can see.
So I’m not sure what to do?
Thank you for your help
The most disturbing thing about this question is where you wrote:
“Now I have decided that I should move on and meet others which I do have a few options.
But some how she keeps coming to chat.”
This is a HUGE mistake! You’ve been waiting around for this girl, who has a man?! NOOOOOO! Don’t do this. You’re wasting time where you could be finding someone and developing a relationship with someone who’s bringing you actual value whereas this girl is only potential value.
Additionally, if she thinks that you’re not out and about looking for other girls, then what’s her incentive to make a move? You’ll be there waiting for her whenever she decides she’s ready with no danger of finding that slot already full, or having to compete away another girl.
I feel like with this girl the main problem is that there has been a lot of talk, and not enough action on your part to move things forward.
When you told her you “had feelings” did you also tell her to drop her boyfriend and be your girl? If you want a girl to leave her boyfriend, you really needed to be very direct about the level of interest you have and what you want her to do (dump him) and what you’re going to do once she does.
I think that you really need to tell her exactly what you want her to do. Maybe that means, that you don’t want to talk to her unless she’s breaking up with her boyfriend. Or maybe you need to invite her out on a date and take her home and see how she responds. Because at this point it’s very unclear if she sees you as a friend and a friend only, OR if she sees you as the guy she wants to jump to if things don’t work out with her boyfriend OR if she thinks of you as the guy who she wants to be with but she’s not clear how serious you are about her.
You asked her out, she counter offered for the next day and then you turned her down! Why would she leave her boyfriend for you when you won’t even make time for her?
If you can’t think straight about this girl and if your emotions get in the way of taking the right action to maximize your chance of getting this girl, then deleting and blocking her are probably the way to go. However I think that you should try to master your emotions and take action that is most likely to get what you want.
Thanks for your question and good luck!
Hi. I’ve met a Korean girl (she is 50 and I am 52). Her English is pretty good, but I worry about intimate communication with her. I don’t want any misunderstandings as I want the best possible relationship (we’ve both been married twice before). Do you have any suggestions and/or do you think my fear of being misunderstood is unfounded? Thanks in advance.
Please be more specific about what you worries are. I really don’t know what you mean by “intimate communication” and what potential trouble you see if you’re not able to do this well.
Also, are you both in Korea or overseas?
Greeting, I am D. Robertson Kollie of West Africa (Liberia) looking for Korean girl to marriage . How can i get woman from Korea? Kindly find me on facebook
I met a nice Chinese girl by chance responding to a post online of her selling some furniture. I found her very attractive and asked her out,but she was moving away,and did not have the time.
Almost a year later I get a text from her, apologizing for not responding enough before and asking how I am doing. It was totally out of the blue,as we had not talked,texted or anything since that time a year ago. I am thinking she is very interested in me because of her initiating the conversation,,and now am thinking of her often.I replied back, and she answered me a couple of times. Is this a clear sign she likes me ? Maybe I’m being dense,but don’t want to assume anything.
YES! She’s very, VERY interested. Set up a date.
Thank you !
That’s what I thought. Might take awhile to set up a date as we live in different cities,but wow I felt the attraction when we met.
With Korean girls (and most Asian raised Asian girls) you don’t have to worry too much about appearing needy. You don’t want to come across as weak, that’s true.
In any case, you don’t need to wait for replies to send her another message–you can even send her multiple messages in the same day if they’re interesting enough. If you have something you want to tell her, then tell her. But don’t load her up with questions if she’s not answering.
How do asian women in asia react to men who show strong sexual interest in them? In the west we have this whole thing about being “thirsty” which is an insult to men who show strong sexual urges to women. One thing you said that threw me off was that asian women react to men who show interest. So, how would they react to men who show strong sexual interest?
I think that just as in the west, it’s about HOW you show that interest. No one would think of James Bond as being “thirsty” but he shows clear sexual interest.
Asian women in Asia are more sexually conservative so showing strong sexual interest, while very flattering, can cause problems if you do it in the wrong place at the wrong time. There has not been a sexual revolution in Asia yet, so, as a society they still don’t think of sex as being something to do for fun.
It’s more serious, so they mostly have sex with the intent of that leading to a serious relationship. So, when you show sexual interest in the wrong time, they can feel that it’s dangerous to get involved with you because they will think that you are only interested in sex and will cut contact.
But if you do it at a time and place where sex can happen soon after while they are still emotionally engaged and before they start thinking about it too much.
Okay, so while they maybe flattered they think more of long term consequences. That makes sense. The reason I asked is like you said, if you’re James Bond then it’s not seen as creepy here in the west. It seems to many times in the west that if anyone but a bad boy alpha acts thirsty he gets called creepy. But, from what you said on this site and on this post in Asia being thirsty is permissible depending on the situation and time rather than who you are (In the west only James Bond and Bad boys can get away with it).
I think that the perspective on male sexuality is quite different in Asia. It’s considered quite natural and normal and not something to be ashamed of because they don’t have the same mind/body/spirit split that the west has with the body’s needs and desires being “dirty” or “bad”. It just is.
Also, Asia has lots of prostitution and it’s quite normal and acceptable for men to participate in that, so there are outlets for the thirst that imply that if a guy is having sex with “normal” women automatically implies that there is something more going on than just the urge for sex.
Having said that, guys in Asia can be perceived as creepy just as much as in the west, but Asians, in general, are more socially calibrated and pay attention to the effects their behavior has on others more than westerners do.
hi , i want to know how to rectify yes women had sex with two or more than two
I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Please clarify your question.
How do you approach a Japanese girl
Check the section on “meeting” and you’ll see several articles giving advice. Good luck and have fun!
How are Asian women in bed vs western women? Is one better than the other or are they different or the same?
In general, Asian girls have less sexual experience and take sex more seriously. They are very trainable and open to following your lead in the bedroom. On the other hand if you want a very active girl who is going to tell you what she wants and be aggressive in bed, then you’re not going to like sex with Asian women much.
I meet this Japanese girl on a first date.
She s all smiles and horny, body contact and all, but I made clear to her before meeting that I only had few hours free time over lunch being a weekday to which she agreed no problem.
Finished lunch I politely excused myself that I had to get back to work and looked forward to see her next time on a holiday. I picked up the bill of course.
That s when the problems started: she didn t want me to leave and pretended to follow me at the workplace which I denied as ”not professional”.
I finally took her to the train station after setting an all day meeting for the next weekend.
She hasn t been in touch eversince.
What have I done wrong???
Thanks.
Probably nothing you did wrong…some girls are just strange. Especially if this is a Japanese girl living overseas. I would say though, that if she was so eager to meet, why didn’t you meet her on a day when you had more time?
Hey Redpole
I live in Japan!
Thanks for answering anyway.
True, when a Japanese girl agrees to meet, I should take the day off.
What an idiot I am.
I just thought to invite her for lunch as ice breaker to lay down the carpet for the next date… Tomorrow never comes in Japan.
Learn from mistakes.
Yeah, man…most everyone has made this mistake at least once. I know I have. Live and learn.
hey guy, any recommendations for websites where i can arrange meetings ahead of time? its my first time in japan come march 1rst of 2017, and i’d appreciate any tips and tricks to overcoming the language barrier or asking ladies back to my hotel for the night. please and thanks
Online isn’t so popular in Japan as other places, but you can do Tinder and Pairs. Those seem to be the most popular at the moment.
As for the language barrier, you should remember that all High School graduates have studied at least 6 years of English in Jr High School and High School and University graduates have studied at least 10 years. So they know quite a lot of English. The main problem is that they don’t have much experience actually using the English they know.
Because of that, they are often nervous about talking in English. Speak slowly and use short simple sentences and phrases to get them to calm down. Once they feel comfortable you’ll find hat their English improves.
Have fun in Japan!
also im very scared of the japanese public transportation system lol…
It’s pretty straight forward if you know where you’re going. You can use sites like http://www.jorudan.co.jp/english/ to navigate the train system. You might take a wrong train here or there and you might miss a station sometimes at first, but people are really helpful there so you’ll be fine.
My business just expanded to Japan and I’ll be moving there on or around March 1st. My company is a direct sales company in the energy field. I’m looking to meet business partners who speak English and who are money motivated. What do you recommend. I’m also looking to enjoy my time while i’m there. I’m 41, black and retired Army. Hopefully you can point me in the right direction.
I’d suggest you look into some of the entrepreneur meetups. I’m not that in touch with that community at the moment but if you look up on meetup.com you can find some events that should make it easier to find the kind of people you’re looking for. Good luck!
I am a rock climber, adventurer and i love to travel. I am very laid back and usually don’t take things to seriously. After college i am looking to live in various country’s spending around two years in each. I would like to be married before i go. Do you think a Japanese girl would work out better or a Korean girl
I am a climber an adventurer and I love to travel. I am very laid back and am looking for an energetic relationship with somebody that loves to adventure and try new things. Should I go live in Japan and find a Japanese girl or go to Korea for a Korean girl. I am also looking for someone willing to live in various other places after living together in her home country for several years
Josh,
Sorry it took me a while to get back to you on this. This is a pretty difficult question to answer because you’re essentially asking if you’re more likely to find a Japanese girl or a Korean girl who will be down for the kind of lifestyle you want which means making gross over generalizations about large populations. Luckily, I love making gross over generalizations but instead of giving you a straight answer, I’m going to tell you about the differences in challenges you’re likely to find if you go Korea vs Japan.
In general, people find dating Korean girls to be harder than dating Japanese girls. Both countries have quite strong cultures, but Japanese culture definitely provides more options and choices to Japanese than Korean culture does to Korean women. What this means is that, in general, Japanese do more of what they want to do with their time and spend less time doing what they are “supposed” to do.
This means that Japanese have more discretionary time than Koreans. It also means that they are happier with their lives, which means they are less likely to jump ship on their country and culture to run around the world with you, even though they have a greater ability to do so.
So, in general a relationship with a Korean is likely more flexible than one with a Japanese, BUT relationships with Koreans are also generally harder, so you’ll have to take your pick. I’d really say that the best way to go about this process is to select which country you’d rather live in since your plan involves living in that country for several years at least.
The factors to consider include which culture you prefer, which language you are willing to invest time into learning, and what your career prospects are in each of those countries.
Let me know if you have any further questions or want more clarification on anything I’ve said.
Good luck, man!
Thanks for your helpful blog. I’m alone here and sorely lacking a wingman… Is it ‘ok’ to go to shibuya clubs (Camelot) by yourself? I mean is it socially acceptable, or does it look weird and put off girls?
The question your asking already tells me that you’re thinking about this entire thing in the wrong way. Whether it’s “weird” or not is totally irrelevant. The question (at least if you’re at all interested in success) is whether going to clubs in Shibuya is an EFFECTIVE way to meet girls, not if it’s “ok” or not.
There are lot’s of things that are not “ok” in life that are effective and those people willing to ignore what’s societally acceptable for what works will win every time.
As a general rule, people don’t got out to clubs and bars by themselves. Especially “party” venues like clubs. But, if you don’t go, you’re definitely not going to meet those girls that are there. Plus, if you go, you might meet the kinds of guys you want to hang out with.
I met one of my best friends over 10 years ago when I was at a club picking up a girl. This guy was picking up the friend of the girl I was going for and since that time we’ve had lots and LOTS of crazy adventures together and learning experiences. So get out there and do it.
If you stay home, I guarantee nothing is going to happen that doesn’t already happen so hit the club and give yourself the chance to change your life.
I just moved back to China after being away from quite a long time, and was wondering about clubbing here. The other night I went out, and grinded with a few girls, who seemed to be into it at the moment, but every time i tried to go for the makeout they’d just leave. I got two girls wechats but one was super cold and the other didnt add me back. That being said, is there something I’m doing wrong here? I understand that I need to be a little more reserved here but does that mean I wont be able to hook up with girls on the dance floor?
Sorry to be so long getting to your question.
As a general rule, it’s not a good idea to get so sexual with Asian girls in public places. So, yes, that means that hooking up on the dance floor isn’t a very good idea if you want to meet these girls again.
Even if you want to take them home that night, it’s a much better strategy to isolate them first (bounce them out of the club) before escalating sexually, you’ll be in a much better position to progress things.
Hey guys, I’ve sent you a message via your facebook for a collab. Check it out and hit us up.
Cheers.
I sent you a reply by e-mail 12 days ago. Let me know if you didn’t get it.
I’m enamored with the Chinese culture, the beautiful women and their apparent sweet demeanor. I’m having trouble finding a girl here in the US. (Socal) Any suggestions?
I’m really surprised to hear that. Southern California is known for having plenty of Chinese girls. You need some kind of “in”. Like, I knew a guy who used to be friends with the owner of a cafe that was very close to a language school that was frequented by a lot of Chinese.
So finding out where some of the more popular language schools are could be a good start.
I’m a 39 years old Spanish man, and I’m considering the possibility of taking one month of holidays on Japan, I would love to could have sex with some Japanese women, but not professional ones if possible, could you guide me a little bit? With no professional and with professional too. Please
I don’t know about professional’s in Japan. As for help with meeting non-professional girls I have two recommendations.
1) read articles on this site, especially, “Where to Meet Japanese Women in Tokyo at:
http://asiadatingexperts.com/meet-japanese-women-in-tokyo/
2) go to PickUpAsia.com and sign up for the newsletter there
WOW, I can’t believe it’ been a year since I last asked a question here haha. Well, that girl fizzled out (early last year).
It was sad. I felt like I was as honest and straightforward as can be. No different than who I naturally am. But moving forward, I really think I found a good, legit, trustworthy girl this time around. At least, she really seems so. She lives in Chendgu. We’ve been talking since about May (last year).
We talk pretty much every single day. And even-though her English isn’t great, (she is always apologizing to me about her “very poor English”. In which I always build her morale up and encourage her because we all know English is far from easy to learn haha. Her English isn’t terrible. And hey, she knows my Mandarin is “very poor” lol. We have fun with it all haha).
We text and/or voice chat, as I said, pretty much everyday. I even video chat with her at my job, (and at home of course). We have had fun convos. Just last month we got on the topic of Africans living in China. Long story short, I said, “Yes Africans can be really dark. I’m more like milk chocolate (I’m “African-American”).” She replied, “Yes, I know. I like. I like a bit dark, it’s cute.” Lol. It was one of those random memorable moments haha. Side note: one of the first things we talked about ever, was music. And she professed her enjoyment of Rihanna, lol. It was cool. Anyway, I’m in the works of going to see her in a few months. Planning to stay 3 weeks.
One thing is, she wants to take me to get Hot Pot and we also talked about going to some other restaurants (we both are foodies, which is awesome. And she also talked about me going to her and her house parents, and us cooking together. Which will be fun). But for the restaurants or at least the Hot Pot restaurant (s), should I pay for the both of us? I heard horror stories of some restaurants using bad/ old oil, especially for Hot Pots. I read that usually the freshest oil is used at the more expensive Hot Pot Places. Better quality food. The last thing I want is a food digestive issue there (though it might happen anyway, gulp..and I have a pretty tough stomach, no joke.). So if I ask her if we could go to a place that has “loyal quality freshness”, should I pay her way too?!
Like, I feel bad asking her to spend money that she may not have just for my digestive sake. But, I don’t want to be on the toilet the whole time I’m there if you get my drift! In general, should I pay her way for any activity we do?! Any help or guidance on this situation/topic would be very much appreciated! Thank you!
What is the best way to meet asian women in the SF Bay area…Thanks!
Cold approach.
University campuses, are probably your best bet…but there are tons of Asians running around SF.
(I posted a longer version of my story and question, but for some reason it views me as spam?!?)
Well… Here was my question: I’m in the works of going to see a girl in Chengdu in a few months. I’m planning to stay 3 weeks. We have been talking since about late May or early June last year.
One thing is, she wants to take me to get Hot Pot and we also talked about going to some other restaurants (we both are foodies, which is awesome. And she also talked about me going to her and her house parents, and us cooking together. Which will be fun). But for the restaurants or at least the Hot Pot restaurant (s), should I pay for the both of us!? I heard horror stories of some restaurants using bad/ old oil, especially for Hot Pots. I read that usually the freshest oil is used at the more expensive Hot Pot Places. Better quality food. The last thing I want is a food digestive issue there (though it might happen anyway… and I have a pretty tough stomach, no joke.). So if I ask her if we could go to a place that has “good quality freshness”, should I pay her way too?!
Like, I feel bad asking her to spend money that she may not have just for my digestive sake. But, I don’t want to be on a toilet or something the whole time I’m there if you get my drift! In general, should I pay her way for any activity (s) we do?! Any help or guidance on this situation/topic would be very much appreciated! Thank you!
It’s hard to say…the paying thing is pretty complicated, but in general, she’s going to assume that you have a good amount of money if you can afford to fly there and stay there for 3 weeks.
So, you can let her pay for some things if she wants to, but if you insist, it will make you look cheap, and cheap is never good. Do some research on the internet to find some recommended hot pot places (and other restaurants) that fit your price range.
Hey thanks for reply again Red. I really appreciate it!
Yep. Already on it…in terms of the Hot Pot Research. A few weeks ago, I asked her for an average price for a higher quality Hot Pot place vs a lower quality. In addition to that, I then researched/reviewed some places around the city myself.
Yeah my main thing was, paying “customs” when it comes to men and women going places together. So the gist of what you’re saying is… after a meal, I should kindly ask her, “would you like for me to pay for both of us?” Correct?! Or should I ask her, “will you pay for yourself today?”
I’m not a cheap dude when it comes to treating a woman. I just really want to make sure I am doing that right thing according to Chinese customs in regards to relationship building. Thanks you!
No, you shouldn’t talk about it directly. Asian cultures don’t talk directly about things and it really could make her uncomfortable. You have to understand “face”. Check out this article (not written by me or anyone I know):
http://www.china-mike.com/chinese-culture/understanding-chinese-mind/cult-of-face/
If she’s a polite, well brought up girl, she will offer, assuming you don’t take her to someplace that it far out of her price range.
But if you find that she doesn’t seem to even offer or seem to pulling out her wallet, you can say, “I’ll get this, you can get the coffee/ice cream/etc”
Another approach, is to say something like, “Hey, do you have $10?” (or whatever amount is somewhere between 50-33% of the cost assuming it’s in her price range though.
I gotcha! Yeah, I read. Yep. The concept of Face in China, is ‘something’ alright”. I always find it funny because for a country so un-polictically correct, they sure are a sensitive culture. Like, oxymoron type. Haha. Though I don’t hold it against anyone. It’s part of their culture.
Thanks for the guidance! I am crazy excited, to see her face to face. And as well, excited about my first overseas international travel.
I hope it works out well for you!
Got to China this past Wednesday evening. So far, it’s been an enlightening and cool experience. And being an African American here, is well.. fun. Ha.
The main reason for me arriving in China was for a girl (check this forum for my back story leading up to this moment, if you’d like). But I’m also interested in the culture.
So far my experience with this girl is going very well in terms of interaction. I already thought she was a good girl, but the last two days, she exceeded “good”: she talked to one of the restaurant employees of the restaurant where I told her how much I paid for a meal in-which she thought I was cheated. And yesterday she wasn’t satisfied with what I ate for breakfast, so she asked me if I wanted her to bring me something to eat to my hotel. I happily accepted. She washed the dishes afterwards as well, which she didn’t have to do. She’s even paid for most of my meals here when we eat together. Even though I keep telling her I can pay no problem; I get my wallet out but it’s like she won’t let me! She paid for my subway and zoo ticket as well.
So all seems good right!? It’s not about her paying things for me. I really like her. But I’m still uncertain of her feelings for me. Like, she keeps saying I’m a guest. But, I don’t want to be just a guest. She is perfect girlfriend and, dare I say future wife material. Women like her don’t grow on trees. I’m not looking for games.
And right now, I still just feel like a good friend of hers. And we have been talking for a year and adding that currently, I’m physically with her now in China (for a 3 wk stay). I’ve heard traditional Chinese girls move slow, and she is indeed fairly traditional. But, is this moving slow, or is she disinterested in me in terms of a romantic relationship?!
How do I tell her I want more? How do I ask her how she feels about me for a relationship?
I’m a black man, living in NYC. It seems difficult to get an Asian girlfriend. Online. At singles parties. I need some directions like places to go or online sites I may have overlooked.
Thanks.
Ed.
Probably better to do cold approach. I had a friend who used to hang out in the east village at cafes or bars that get a lot of foot traffic and he would just chase down Asian girls he saw walking by.
Also, there are a lot of language schools that Asian girls go to in New York to learn English so if you look them up and hang out places nearby you have a much better chance of meeting them.
If you don’t mind Asian-Americans, there are tons in NYC so I don’t see why you’d have trouble finding them.
are so called Rich Girls on AsianDate.com real or is a scam?, I haven’t gibe them my Credit Card do to simple fact I don’t own one,
LW
No idea…but I’ve never heard of guys using that dating site. Usually OKcupid, JapanFriendFinder and the other friendfinders, JapanCupid, worldfriends, tagged, and dateinasia are the ones I’ve heard people having success with. Oh, and tinder and skout.
Well I’ve read some not so great reviews of this site, I’ve heard that Dateinasia directs you now to Asiadate site this site wants me to buy credits.
LW
I just want to know if those Rich Chinese girls there are real and really Rich, or just a Scam.
LW
Probably a scam.
Dam that’s not fair, however I did try Chinacupid and Japancupid and those sites look okay,
LW
Why is so hard for me to find a Rich Chinese Girl to marry online?,
Were can find a dating site that is real is for me?,
LW
Rich Chinese girls have lots of options and don’t need to find a husband on the internet. They have plenty of access to quality guys. Though, if you’re looking for Chinese career women in their 30s, you can find plenty because Asian guys don’t like to marry girl that age, and they don’t like to marry career women much either.
Oh I’m just asking um how do I find the ones who are Rich?,
LW
Hi I am a American guy looking for my dream Asian girl,and a relationship that will turn to marriage. I heard that Japanese women like Americans and Black guys is this true ? If I come to japan with a big fro or braids and approach women on the streets will I have any problems ?. Which Asian country you think will be best for a brother like me to meet women. Dont say Thailand im in Thailand now and im very very disappointed, They dont speak English ,when I approach them it doesnt go good.so im learning Thai now, And I get no love on thai dating sites well not with the hot girls they pick the white guy first.
Thailand is shitty for black guys. You’ll do way better in Japan, Korea, or Mainland China. Having said that, don’t get all worked up about Japan either. The language levels there are quite bad.
Probably worse than Thailand. But Japanese girls are more open minded. I have an afro, and actually, I did even better there with cornrows. But you would probably need to learn Japanese. Also, on the whole a lot of guys have bad experience marrying Japanese girls.
Check out the comments on this article:
http://www.stippy.com/japan-culture/is-japan-really-sexless/
But if you want to date a lot of hot girls casually, it’s really good for sure!
Japanese don’t really care where guys are from. It’s mostly about personality for them. So, black, white, brown, yellow, or other, it doesn’t matter to them. If they like you, they like you.
thanks im planning a trip in October im trying to see what place would be best for meeting some hot girls, Like I said im in Thailand now not much luck here , I meet girls but not the super hot ones.But I feel if I spoke Thai I would have much better luck so im learning. Anyway people dont know where I come from when they see me because I can pass for many Nationalities im not too Dark and im a mix breed. What about the Philippines they speak English and all of them are Catholic . And how about Indonesia and Vietnam ? Im planning to travel to at least two Asian countries . Thx
Yeah, the English in the Philippines is a lot better, but most guys think that on average the girls are worse than other countries in Asia.
Dating in Vietnam is quite hard, even for white guys. Indonesia gets good reviews, but I don’t know if it will work well for a black guy even though it seems to be really good for white guys.
In SE Asia, there is a strong connection between skin color and attractiveness. Similar to how it used to be in the west before the industrial revolution.
I’ve been meaning to go to Indonesia, but I haven’t made it yet so I can’t tell you, and I don’t know of any other black guys who have gone there, either. So, it’s likely that the Philippines is your best bet and you should skip Vietnam for sure!
I’d be really keen to hear how your experience in Thailand is once you learn Thai. White guys don’t need it.
you ever been to India ? I wander will they show you love there ? What about Spanish speaking countries ?
I’ve been to Cambodia but I was with a Japanese girl, so I can’t speak for the dating scene. I haven’t been to India either, but everyone says it’s super hard there, and it’s kind of a dump so it’s not pleasant to be there.
I have not been to Russia, but I’ve had pretty good success with them in Asia. And I don’t know anything about Spanish speaking countries, but I think that it’s probably fine.
Which web-sites do you recommend for dating Asian women in the UK or meeting locations
I’m not really familiar with online dating in the UK, but you could use the websites that are popular with Asian girls in Asia, and search out those that are close to you.
Try worldfriends, hellotalk, Koreacupid, Japancupid for websites,. For apps, use Tantan for China, and Tinder for Japan and Korea. Also, you can try Skout for all of those.
There are other sites if you’re specifically interested in SE Asian girls, like Thai and Philippina so if that’s more what you’re looking for, I’ll can give you those too.
As for meeting locations…the best places to check are usually tourist areas if you’re looking for girls that are visiting, or if you’re looking for girls that are more long term, you have to hang out where international students go. I’m not familiar enough with the UK to give you specifics, but that’s where I would start.
Hey mate, discovered your website a few days ago and love it. My question relates to dating Asian cabin crew. I have been dating a Thai girl who is working for a 5 star airline based in the Middle East. I’m based in Australia. Has been long distance for 2 years. As I read you have been dating Asian cabin crew previously, I’m interested about how you dealt with the distance and in particular, handling jealously from the multitude of approaches when they are outstation from passengers and other crew. Do you think that cabin crew like to sleep around?
Actually, it’s one of my guys who is the expert on cabin crew, but your problems are not cabin crew related, actually. They are issues of emotional management.
It can be ok to act jealous (and I’ll explain why later) but being jealous doesn’t do you any good. It’s an emotional fear of loss. But the thing is that you don’t have any control over what she does. So focusing on that is a total waste of time and energy. What you should be doing is focusing on your “circle of influence” as Stephen Covey calls it in “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.”
That means, doing what you can to make her time with you as good as possible,creating a strong enough emotional connection, and a potential future that is worth her sticking around for. You can’t decide who she meets when she travels, but you can make yourself and her time with you valuable enough that it would be hard for other guys to compete.
Now, having said that, you need to determine if what you offer is in line with what she wants. If that’s not the case, then it won’t help. Like a girl who gets a tit job when the guy she’s with hates fake tits, it doesn’t help. If you can determine that you are a good match for her, then it can be worth the time and effort, but you have to always recognize that you can’t make her stay with you and that means that it might be good to have a plan B by being out, looking for other women, or at least keeping your skills sharp and your social life vibrant enough that you won’t have any trouble finding a replacement.
Now, about jealousy…
Showing (but not feeling, ie faking) jealousy can be very valuable. When you display emotional distress, it shows her that you are emotionally invested in her and that can make women feel secure. But this only works if they think that you’re not very into them. So, if she feels insecure because she thinks you’re dating other women, or just because she thinks you’re higher value than her, showing jealousy, can be a great move.
Hi im going to Korea in about 4 months i know a decent amount of Korean do you have any tips on to approach a Korean girl and start a conversation with her, like in a way that shows I like her?
This site is full of tips on meeting and starting conversations with Korean women. Go to our “Meeting” category and start reading through those posts at:
http://asiadatingexperts.com/meeting/
Also, head on over to PickUpAsia.com and join the mailing list so you get our free e-course!
I met this interesting Taiwanese girl in Japan last month. I first started talking to her a month before the trip. She’s said “I’m only into Black guys”(I’m Black so that’s a plus and minus in my opinion). After meeting her 4 times(date number 1 was pretty bad), my trip ended up with us having sex on the last meeting and having some interesting conversations. She says she misses this and that about me, and wants to me to spend more time with her. When it was time for me to leave, it seemed like she was concerned if I was going to date other girls in my home country, but didn’t want to pursue it. I told her I wouldn’t(which I haven’t) which seemed to make her happy, and that I’ll be back to see her again either when I get a job in Japan or in a few months for my next vacation. I don’t know how serious I should take a woman who would only give me her nickname after four meetings. Am I getting played or what?